'Look after her' [Hane]

Strange. How after Kakushin grew too weak to have Hane's immortality continue, the Guard felt like there was only one place he wanted to be as his mortal wounds returned. The pain tickled across his back, and all he wanted to do was find Tenshi. And he did, but it didn't help the pain, it instead gave him a new kind, that helped to ignore the physical ones. She was cold, dead on the floor of a broken and crumbled city. And Hane had never felt such anguish, such despair, and such... heartbreak? Yes, he couldn't deny it, Hane couldn't find one excuse to explain what made his heart feel so crumbled and broken, and what made tears flow freely from his eyes. Other than knowing. Knowing how he felt. He recalled the time he'd told Tenshi how he felt on feelings, how in the end, they caused more pain than happiness, and right now, he saw reason in his previous opinions. He'd managed to get close, holding onto a hope she'd come back to life, move and get up, squeal frantically over Hane's injuries. But she didn't, she was motionless, and Hane refused to breath whilst Tenshi also remained breathless and dead. The pain was given a release, as Hane's consciousness faded, his blood loss giving him mercy as it dragged away his mind into darkness. 

When he woke, it was in Shiro, in the middle of one of the gardens. And in complete silence, as Hane looked around to see no one working or moving from place to place. He heard a voice, following it to someone perched on one of the towers. "I know this is in my head, if it were real, this place would be much more organised, and cleaner... However, the fact that this is not merely a sequence following my death is intriguing." Hane admitted, stopping when the stranger mentioned Tenshi. Hane felt that familiar pain in his chest, and for a moment wished he had actually died, just to be rid of it. "She has... unfortunately passed away." He said.

Hane looked to the boy, following him, but feeling no threat. He did seem familiar, perhaps someone Hane had known in his long life at some point, he couldn't quite picture when, or a name. He looked around again, after being told the boy created this place, "You could have made it cleaner.." He grumbled, before the distraction of apparently not being truly dead hit. He flinched from the touch to his shoulder, relaxed by the words and the thought that Tenshi still had a choice. She could still live, just like Hane. He could laugh with relief right now if Hane wasn't so refined and used to frowning constantly. And the happy spark did drain quickly from his eyes, remembering now where he'd seen the boy before after hearing his name. Or at least, remembering when Tenshi spoke about this Rifi. For a moment, Hane brushed off the apparent 'talk' he was going to given with a simple hum, instead folding his arms behind his back. "So you are the one that left Tenshi? Left her alone, with a child on the way? Are you aware of what utter heartbreak it has caused her, for so long? A hopelessness and a dark and morbid memory Tenshi has had to carry for beyond two thousand years, all because you left her alone, after giving her your love." Hane asked, bitterly, the way he'd tell off his students when they'd done something incredibly wrong. Hane was well aware this Rifi was killed in combat, most likely saving Tenshi's life. But, it didn't matter. All Hane saw was the reason he'd had to endure seeing Tenshi so broken that time after the Nightmares, the reason she was so broken and saddened. And seeing Tenshi that way, made Hane feel almost the same.  

Hane grumbled, glancing around the silent Shiro, trying to avoid the boy's eye contact as he studied his words. Spirit and mind were all well and good, but they meant nothing for the living. Death was death, and it was a horrible way to leave someone alone. Goddess knows how many times Hane had felt the pang of sudden loss, whenever someone he'd reached out to died. His old friends, and anyone he'd decided to associate himself with since being immortal. Tenshi had felt so many more, and probably the most painful had been losing Rifi. Hane huffed, "You speak for yourself, claiming to never be truly gone. However, you did not see Tenshi the way I saw her, the loss she still felt. I recall when she told me about you, and the look of... loneliness in her eyes when thinking back to you." Hane knew it was a little rude, for even his standards, to insult the deceased, but it was an issue Hane held onto with a lot of determination. Hane's eyes then flashed with a moment of anger, himself feeling insulted. His arms crossed tightly in front of him, face neutral, but eyes burning. "I would never... never cause Tenshi heartbreak. It is my promise to her, the immortal promise I vow to uphold for as long as I live, because the very fact that I can live is because of her. Even when it would be so easy to leave, I knew I could never leave her. I took a bullet through my head, remained stuck in a coma for four years, but held on for her sake, because she'd been through enough tragedies and lost enough people close to her that it would kill me a thousand times over to be the cause of more of Tenshi's heartbreak." Hane had to pause, had to gather his breath and his resolve. His arms loosened a little. "I understand what you are trying to do. You've seen my actions as being indifferent. Seen the fact that I have contained my feelings for Tenshi as an attempt to avoid it. When in fact... Rifi, you are incorrect. I am well aware of how I feel, of all the many things I deny for the sake of keeping up appearances, denying my feelings for Tenshi is the only one I know for a fact is only a front. I am not trying to avoid what we could have, I am just cautious, as cautious as I have been for two centuries. Because the woman that brought me back from death and gave me the second chance to be something more, does not deserve irrational love." 

Hane never admitted to feeling afraid. It was one thing he felt was a terrible feeling, ever since fear struck him when he had still been mortal, and had been at the horrible mercy of those Demons. He'd only been afraid a few times since then. When Kakushin came to Shiro, almost dead, when Tenshi was broken by the encounters of the Nightmares. And when Hane himself was felled by a bullet to the head, and the moment of realising he might not live to continue the work and the dedication he lived for. Fear was something Hane truly loathed, along with sadness. He'd never felt saddened or afraid of his feelings for Tenshi. They existed, he wouldn't deny them, but he would deny that they brought him distress. Like the fear of doing something wrong, and ruining what they already established. Or that Tenshi deserved worlds better than him, seeing just how long she'd been waiting. He would deny all of those negative thoughts. They would appear to pester him, but Hane would throw them aside without an issue. "Ask me a few decades ago if I was open to change, and I would have said no. Change is dangerous, unsettling and unpredictable." Hane paused, and a small smile creased his face. "However, as it stands now, my life is so much more different than I could imagine. But I have tried to remain myself throughout, call it the stubbornness of an old man... And perhaps the fear of changing too much." Hane paused, smile dropping as quick as it had appeared. "It could be reasonable to believe that I am afraid of letting Tenshi know the true contents of my feelings towards her. Because, it would mean something between us would change, and using the example of various other relationships I've witnessed, I would change with it." Hane sighed, moving his hands back to the previous position, tucked behind him. "However, if she still accepts me, whatever this... update, does to me, then I suppose it would be worth telling her... Because you are correct, that Tenshi deserves to know, rather than assume."