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Post by Flood/Akvan on Dec 16, 2015 22:40:06 GMT
Notes: Feel free to talk about the snippets of occasions where Akvan gained consciousness, like what everyone's been doing in the meantime etc. The time Akvan's woken up this time is just before Mun clan is destroyed, he'll sleep again in the thread, then wake up to hear others talk about it.
Akvan breathed, though it wasn't from his own desire to. And Shinda wasn't even helping him breath anymore, Akvan was able to support his own life once more, without throwing a fit and without being unconscious constantly. But, he didn't want to breath, to feel his exhausted heart continue to beat. He wanted to be dead, it was what he'd asked for over and over to the others whilst he was in so much pain. And that pain, it stuck with the Sun child, his wounds might be healing well, but he could still feel the tear in his back, what Shinda took, and what he and Itami carved into Akvan's skin. Every waking moment was a tormenting storm of remembering the whole thing over and over, Shinda and his cruel magic had made sure Akvan couldn't forget one second of it all. Sleeping didn't give Akvan any peace, in his dreams he simply relieved what happened, only to wake up and ache with all the scars and broken bones yet to properly settle. There were scarred words on Akvan's skin, the others had covered them up to stop Akvan from seeing, but he could feel where the red blood had crusted against him in the shape of words. He knew they were there, even if everyone told him otherwise.
So many things frustrated Akvan, made him feel miserable every waking moment. His only solace was in his family, those he hated for keeping him alive, but also cherished for being able to see them, hear them talk and try to comfort him. Akvan still couldn't move, his legs were too weak from the broken back to let Akvan even get up right now. And his voice still didn't appear, it had only worked when Shinda forced it to, without that magic, Akvan could only wheeze out noise, fearing it might be permanent. Everyone said it would just take time, like his ability to walk, Akvan just needed to rest his voice before trying to use it again. He was given a pad of paper to write words onto, when others were around, to communicate with them. After promising to not write anything morbid on them anymore of course. He'd slept for a while, having no idea of time anymore, relying on the others to tell him these things, Akvan looked around the quiet room. He did like staring off at nothing, trying to remember pleasant things like previous talks with Chester or his sisters, but it usually just drew Akvan back to feeling that pain again. So the Sun child preferred talking to someone, even if he couldn't really talk back. Nor could he really call someone to the room, it was just a matter of staring at the door, waiting for it to open.
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Post by Chester on Dec 16, 2015 23:02:57 GMT
The days healing Akvan was taking its toll on everyone, especially knowing that he didn't want to live... That's what hurt Chester the most, that Shinda managed to break Akvan so much that he was asking them for it. Even if he promised to stop asking, Chester could see it in his eyes every moment she was with him, and she admits, it was hard to be in the room with him, knowing that he didn't want to be there in the first place, but she stayed, hoping to change his mind, to fix him. Chester had just finished eating, Nanari all but forcing her to do so, before grabbing a glass of water for Akvan and heading up. None had left the house in the time he was here, besides the supply runs, and it was rare they left him alone, though today was different, as Yume requested some help down at the temple, Saints activity that was off the charts. Labari drew the short straw to go and help, much to her annoyance, but that's just how bad things had gotten. Opening the door, Chester turned her gaze right onto Akvan, smiling softly to him before sitting on the chair beside him, leaving a kiss on his forehead and running her fingers through his hair, pushing the paper where he can reach it. "Hey, how you feeling today? I brought water, much like it if we can try and get you swallowing properly again, may help with your voice." Chester knew the best thing would be to act as normal as she could, even if it was difficult under the circumstances, and with the pressure of having to begin repaying her debt.
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Post by Flood/Akvan on Dec 16, 2015 23:59:37 GMT
He might not like all the circumstances, still being alive like this, but Akvan stopped being horrible about it. Everyone made the choice to keep him alive, they wanted Akvan when he didn't want himself, and the Sun child could respect that. Most of all from Chester. Leaving her would have killed Akvan more than death, from his promise, and from the idea of not being able to see her face again. He was grateful to be alive for that, for Chester, if nothing else. Blinking as the door opened, Akvan's vision focused on Chester as she came in, close to returning her smile before dropping his gaze to look elsewhere. He could tell she still felt hurt over things, feeling the pain Akvan lived with, and remembering how damaged he'd been. It had been such a strain on everyone to get to this point alone, which was one reason Akvan didn't like the fact he was alive still. He just didn't feel worth all the trouble and fears everyone had gone through. Giving Chester a light smile as thanks, Akvan's head turned to the paper. He could only just see it from how he was lying down, but was already getting used to using it. Thank you. I cannot get rid of the pain. Being asleep or awake is no different. But, I feel like I'm getting better. Wish I could get up though. Akvan stopped writing, trying to lift one of his legs. It shook a lot at the very idea of moving, Akvan barely lifted it a few inches before giving up. He sighed a little, trying to swallow and being reminded of the water. Akvan gestured towards it, knowing he couldn't take the glass himself with how he was laying down, but he was at least willing to try it this time. Akvan couldn't refuse both food and water, like he'd done previously, forever. |
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Post by Chester on Dec 17, 2015 21:37:50 GMT
Chester wished she could help him with the pain, either bare some of it herself, or eliminate it altogether, but she knew she didn't have that luxury to do so, not in the way she wanted. And the emotional pain would take even longer, something she was willing to do, so that she didn't lose someone else, and for now, she would do all in her power to help Akvan get through this. Giving a small smile, Chester helped Akvan to sit up, mindful of his back, taking things slow, before handing him the glass of water. Sitting on the bed with him, Chester took one of Akvan's legs, resting it in her lap and finding the skin that was left, massaging into it. She knew it wouldn't do much, but she hoped the feeling would be nice. "I wish I could help bare the pain, give you the strength needed to stand once more. But I cant, and I'm sorry." This was the worse part of all this, knowing that they kept Akvan here, and how there was little more they could do to help, considering this pain he's living with is now because of them. "I'm so sorry Akvan." Letting a few tears fall, Chester didn't know what she was sorry for anymore. |
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Post by Flood/Akvan on Dec 17, 2015 21:58:20 GMT
It was a nice thought to believe that this was it. Akvan had lasted through the finale of Shinda's cruelty, and he didn't need to go back again. Because every time Akvan thought about going back in, he thought of the worst. Would he survive even a minute, or be subject to another world of pain from the combined forces of Shinda and Itami? For the first time, Akvan feared going back for his own sake, not because he'd be leaving everyone behind, but because he was genuinely terrified of the opposition now. He supposes that was how Shinda wanted it to be, to have Akvan fear him as he did now, and as he had once before. Fear was something mental, but it was the worst of Akvan's experiences. That being said, it was also the easiest to overcome, with the help of others. Around Chester Akvan only felt one fear, fear for her sake, dreading how his injuries were making her feel, how he didn't want to lose her like he'd done before. Finding the will to not make a noise as he was lifted was something Akvan could do, because it hurt in a lot of places to sit up, but like this, at least his wife could be closer. Carefully, Akvan took a few sips, shaking his head as he swallowed. "I...it's..." Akvan got out before his voice gave up. Coughing a little, Akvan replaced the water with the pad of paper. It's not your fault. You are doing all you can. Besides, thanks to you I can still live. I gave you my heart to look after, remember? Akvan stopped, finally giving in to the urge to properly smile, moving a hand over Chester's left, feeling the ring around her finger. The last part of his heart still left. Akvan couldn't move to it, so lifted the hand closer to kiss it. Removing the tears, Akvan relaxed back, appreciating what effort Chester went towards to help.
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Post by Chester on Dec 18, 2015 21:00:20 GMT
Chester read the last line of what he wrote and burst into worse tears. Yeah, she was given his heart to look after, and she let someone cut it open literally and someone else destroy it figuratively. And that hurt worst of all, knowing she failed that, couldn't protect it like she promised. Smiling slightly as Akvan removed her tears, even if the effort was pointless, she still appreciated it, and leant over to give Akvan a slight kiss on the lips, she would do what she can to help, no matter how she was feeling, and how much he wanted to give up. "I'm fine. And I wont fail to protect it again." Well, she would try, but after everything, things she's promised people to keep him alive... When he finds out, that alone may kill him, knowing what had to happen for him to live. For now, she wouldn't think of that. "Hey, how about tomorrow, if your feeling up for it, we go out so you can get some fresh air... You might not be able to move your legs yet, but we can still let you stretch them, yeah?" She wanted to make things as normal as she could, as well as get him out the stuffy room a bit, she knew it must be boring stuck in here.
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Post by Flood/Akvan on Dec 19, 2015 22:27:47 GMT
Akvan might be messed up, his mind yet again enslaved by the fear of his rival, but he wasn't damaged like the others. All of them blaming themselves for what happened, thinking it was their fault. And it made Akvan angry at Shinda, knowing it was all in the Devil's plan. Akvan might be living, but all of his pain was carried by the others as well, they saw him not as a healed man, but a broken one that they'd failed on multiple levels to fix completely. And it didn't help that Akvan wanted to die, he felt guilty himself for having such a selfish wish when everyone suffered so much around him. It was why he stopped asking for death, just letting it linger in the back of his mind. Akvan's faced dropped when his words didn't seem to get through to Chester, her waterfall of tears not stopping even after he said it wasn't her fault. Being still for a moment, Akvan eventually slowly rose his hand, folding it around the back of Chester's head to bring it forward to rest on his own. "Y...you've never f.. failed me." Akvan rasped, his voice so quiet it was almost silent, only able to be heard as a whisper for Chester. Swallowing from the strain, Akvan smiled again for his wife, before returning to paper to speak further. Fresh air is nice. Perhaps it might get me walking. I'd like to visit the Clan too, see what damage Zuura's done in the last few days. Need to train as well, before I go back in. Did Shinda ever give a time I had to return? note: Chester and the others would have lied about when Shinda wanted Akvan back. It's already been over a week, but they knew he's too weak to go fight, so lie for his sake. |
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Post by Chester on Dec 19, 2015 23:12:18 GMT
Chester's tears stopped falling as Akvan brought her head forward, and a small smile lit her face at him speaking, no matter how quiet and raspy it was. It was a step in the right direction, and hopefully they could heal up Akvan enough that he has a chance when back... Reading what Akvan put both made Chester laugh and wince for different reasons, but taking a breath, she made sure to hide the wince, and answer each question the best she could. "We can take a walk down to the Clan then, and when in the thick of the trees we can help with recovery of walking, yeah? And I know you want training before going back in, but I wont let you strain yourself, it wont be good for your healing." Here was where Chester took a pause. Shinda gave them a week to get Akvan back, and that time had already passed, so the other wouldn't be in the best of moods when they got Akvan back... But he needed to rest and heal, so they were milking how much time they could before Shinda forces him back himself. "Yeah, he did. If I remember correctly, a couple of months at most... He, er, wanted you fixed up, so he could, erm, yeah..." Chester almost forgot their chosen cover story, how Shinda wanted Akvan fixed and healed so he could 'break him again' when Akvan next returned, except, that was a white lie with the timings, as he was meant to be back a week ago already.
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Post by Flood/Akvan on Dec 20, 2015 0:10:53 GMT
Things seem to ease up after Akvan made the effort to try and talk, even getting Chester to relax enough to replace tears with a laugh. The kind of sound Akvan wanted to hear, add more layers to his reasons to want to live rather than give in and let the desire to die come back up again. Akvan couldn't laugh much without coughing, but he did smile a little more. Trees? But didn't someone once tell me that's walking in a forest is just like making yourself wolf-food? Akvan wrote down, thinking fondly of that time, the moment he'd been forgiven himself. He took a look at his hands for a moment. He really wanted to know how things worked. The pain in his heart had gone, the initial shock of losing the majority of his soul had relaxed, and even if the only piece of it left rested on a ring, Akvan didn't feel any strain. He didn't feel weaker, magic wise. But, perhaps that weakness was hidden by the more obvious ones currently plaguing his body. He would test his magic once he could walk, Akvan decided, setting his usually stubborn self a goal. Akvan nodded to the time limit. Surprised it was so long, but then again, Chester explained why, and Akvan could guess. He wants his toy fixed so he can break it all over again. I'd like to say his confidence will be my advantage, but Shinda always has extra tricks up his sleeve. Akvan wrote, putting the pad down and leaning his head back. Shinda really was the root of evil, at least in Akvan's case. He just couldn't see any light in the world so long as the Devil was living, and it seemed more and more impossible to defeat Shinda every fight. The Sun child's eyes were heavy, demanding more sleep from Akvan that he didn't want to give them. He just wanted to move already, even with months left, Akvan didn't want to waste time sleeping the days away. But he knew his determination wouldn't bode well with the others, Akvan blinking himself awake, and glancing to Chester as he thought so. |
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Post by Chester on Dec 21, 2015 22:46:57 GMT
Chester gave an out right chuckle at the first thing Akvan wrote down. Walking in a forest was basically making yourself wolf food, but Akvan was lucky he knew someone so well acquainted with the forest that there really was no fear. "Oh shush you. You and I both know I can take down forest wolves, I did it long enough with a homemade bow and arrows, and they were as weak as shit." Well, that didn't mean they shouldn't worry, but with the war raging on, most were either too scared to come out from hibernation, or being used in the efforts, besides, Chester knew the best routes, so they had to need to worry. And Chester knew Shinda always had an extra trick up his sleeve, though Akvan still refused to tell them how he was so badly beaten last time, even Chester knew some of what happened was not Shinda's creation... Just wasn't in his mind set to do, it left everyone wondering what actually was going on. "Don't know it. I just fear that soon he's going to be strong enough to bring back someone like Itami, from what I've heard about purgatory, it seems likely." And while it seemed likely, Chester did wonder if that meant Akvan could do the same, but she wasn't going to ask, and have him waste his energy on a hypothesis. Chuckling as Akvan tried to stay awake, Chester helped him to lay back down, stroking the hair from his face. "Go to sleep, you need it. And either I'll be right here when you when you wake up, or one of the others will."
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Post by Flood/Akvan on Dec 24, 2015 22:46:16 GMT
Akvan supposed Chester did pretty much own Rycora forest. And all of the creatures in it. But it was nice to bring up something from the past, get his love to smile and laugh like Akvan wanted her to. He leaned towards her shoulder, every moment with Chester brought him back from wanting Death. It had always been that way, no matter what kind of life Akvan had. He didn't want to tell Chester about Itami. That woman was pure darkness and evil for his wife. And although this was technically going against a promise, Akvan knew it was for the best. If Chester knew Akvan was being tortured by his own enemy, and hers as well, Akvan dreaded to think how deep into suffering Chester would fall. He didn't want that, he couldn't have such a thing happen at a time like this. Sighing, Akvan couldn't struggle against being laid back, his head rested against the pillow and it was too late to stop sleep. He wanted to write something down before going to sleep. It was done in an odd manner, from how Akvan was positioned, but could still be read: You'll always be right here, and I can't thank you enough for being there. Akvan wrote, letting the pad remain with that note on it, dropping very quickly into sleep. The rests were shorter, which for the stubborn Sun child was a good thing. He'd only remained in dreams for a short while, before waking up again, perhaps a day after the last time. Akvan felt a little more lifted, able to sleep at last without it being memories of torture. And as he woke, Akvan noticed there was no one around. He didn't feel alone so much, seeing it as another opportunity to go back to sleep, before his ears picked up voices just beyond the door.
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